


Disinclined to Prevaricate

by wisdomeagle



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Banter, Ensemble Cast, F/M, Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-10
Updated: 2005-08-10
Packaged: 2017-10-25 01:44:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/270357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wisdomeagle/pseuds/wisdomeagle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lovemaking and a secret revealed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disinclined to Prevaricate

Cordelia is standing next to Angel, observing the passing scene, a tableau so incredibly boring it would take a champion people person to be interested. Cordy is past champ at minding other people's business.

Wesley reads.

Gunn sharpens his axe.

Fred frowns at an equation.

Fred's foot slides up Gunn's leg.

Gunn grins.

Cordelia snickers.

"What?"

"Them."

"Fred and Gunn? They are sitting pretty close, aren't they?"

Cordelia nods absently. "Them and Wes. They're so -- _them_."

Angel frowns. "And?"

Cordelia takes a deep breath. She has a secret, and today might be the day she lets it out.

"It's kind of awful, that this is my life. Watching them do their thing, pretending it's okay -- you know, I used to think being a grown up would be awesome. All these privileges, all these things that you weren't allowed to do when you were a kid. And then I got there, and, well, it kind of sucks."

"Yeah." Angel stares thoughtfully at their friends. "It does, doesn't it?"

"Don't you think we deserve better than this?"

"No."

Cordelia slaps Angel lightly.

Wesley turns a page.

Gunn strokes Fred's hand.

Fred giggles.

Cordelia slaps Angel again. Pay attention to me.

"We don't," he says. "I don't, at least."

She rolls her eyes. "Is this the whole 'I killed a lot of people' guilt again? Because that's got to get old after about three decades."

"They're still dead," Angel says, like that explains everything.

"And _I'm_ still alive, unlike some people. Maybe I'd like to do some living?"

Angel shrugs. "The door's always open."

"That's because after you slammed it that one time, it won't close. But you aren't listening to me. I want to _live_. But I want to do it _here_."

"Live how?" Angel asks suspiciously.

Cordelia kisses Angel.

Wesley turns another page and sighs.

Gunn drops his axe and puts his other hand on Fred's shoulder.

Fred smiles at Charles, looks past him, and sees Angel and Cordy kissing. She frowns for a minute, then once again smiles at her boyfriend, and whispers, "Let's get a room."

"Sure thing," he says. "No time like the present."

"What I always say," Fred says, stealing another look at Angel and Cordy. Angel's sitting down, and Cordelia is glaring at him. She watches them a little wistfully, not because she still loves Angel, but because she wants to hear this, suspects, even, that this will be the conversation of the century.

Gunn tugs at her sleeve. "Coming, girl?"

She laughs and skips after him. This, this she wants even more.

Cordelia smirks. "Look. _They're_ getting some. How come we never get any?"

"What?" Angel's brow furrows -- not vamp furrows, just ordinary, confused Angelic furrows. "What are you talking about?"

"You, me, kissing, you pushing me away -- _God_ , Angel, do you understand what a 'signal' is?"

"Do you understand what 'moment of perfect happiness' means?"

"Do you understand what 'this is why I keep the stake right next to the condoms in my purse' means?"

"Cordelia!"

"Sorry. I don't actually, since I know the chances of you giving it up for me are slim to anorexic. But I would if we ever starting sleeping togeth--"

"Cordy, are you sure we should be having this conversation here?"

Cordelia glances at Wesley. He looks up and smiles slightly. "Carry on. I'm quite invisible." He turns a page.

"Sure. Why not?"

"You really want to sleep with me."

"Duh. I mean, who wouldn't?"

Angel automatically looks at Wesley. Wesley shrugs back at Cordelia. It's your problem, Angel. I'm not getting you out of this one.

Angel's lowers his voice and gestures for Cordelia to sit. "I don't think you know what you're getting into."

"Angst, heartbreak, Buffy kills Angelus redux? I've thought about this, trust me. And what I want? Is you."

"If that's what you want, I don't think you've thought about it clearly enough."

"That's _entirely_ not the point. Why don't we focus on what's important, like whether _you_ want _me_?"

Angel looks at his hands, then at Cordelia's neck -- obviously trying to avoid her eyes and too ashamed to stare at her breasts, he's found something that lies happily between them. Of course, it just so happens Cordelia's scarf has slipped down to the floor (now how did _that_ happen?) and she knows Angel will, well, kill for a glimpse of a pretty girl's neck. He swallows hard, whispers too loudly, "Who wouldn't?"

They both glance at Wesley, who hasn't bothered to look at his book for minutes. He shrugs again, this time almost slyly. _Definitely_ not his problem.

"That," Cordelia informs Angel, "is not an answer."

"If you'd repeat the question..."

"The question is, should we go back to my place and brave the ghost, or should we stay here and brave the mocking of the Scoobies-in-exile?"

Angel puts a finger to the most tempting part of Cordelia's neck, and says, truly quiet this time, "No." He gets up and moves purposely towards the door that won't close.

"There's still an hour till sunset!" Angel frowns and changes direction. "And Fred and Gunn are going at it upstairs!" With an exasperated sigh, Angel heads for the sewers. "Have fun, be back before sunrise, don't do anything I wouldn't do," Cordelia mutters.

"Are you okay?" Wesley asks.

"Sure. I knew he'd say no."

"Ah..."

"But I wanted him to know that I would say yes."

"Why?"

She grins at him. "You wouldn't understand. It's an Angel thing."

"Try me." He takes the seat Angel left vacant.

"It's like... he needs..." Me. Us. Someone to fight for. Sex. What _ever_. "Let's just leave it at 'you wouldn't understand.'"

"And you're sure you're..."

"I'm _fine_ , Wes. I've got a date all lined up with a hottie of a doctor."

"You were so sure of rejection?"

"I was so sure of needing a doctor's appointment," she grins, and then her grin fades. "Can I tell you something?" Wesley nods. Cordelia takes a deep breath, and this is the hard part. Before she was on easy street, because flirting she knows, Angel she gets, brutal honesty is her forte, but hell if telling Wesley the truth isn't the hardest thing she's ever done.

"My vision headaches are getting worse." Wesley frowns but doesn't touch her the way Angel would, or skitter anxiously like Fred. He waits for her to finish. "Lots worse. My brain is dissolving worse. I - I'm dying."

Fred thrashes.

Gunn licks.

Wesley gasps.

Angel hacks angrily at a Gulunta beast.

Fred whimpers.

Gunn smiles.

Wesley puts a hand on Cordelia's shoulder, and she smiles wanly.

And somehow, nothing's changed.

And everything has.


End file.
